new song played on VIOLIN!!

this new song is actually describing the worst thing I'm going through right now... actually in my entire life... ironically its the first song i play using violin so itslike my debut...

Chemotherapy

Finally I dare to ask if I can leave

Your approval means so much to me

Oh please, oh please

May I rest?

This won't put our friendship to the test

After all you've done your best

To not cry

It burns, it burns inside my veins

Still I feel it, taking power over me

Dunno how to stop the pain

After chemotherapy

I'm daring to sing one last song before I go

I know you're thinking now seconds aren't that slow

And you're appreciating what I'm gonna leave behind

I guess the only thing we won't have is the time

And see how this brings me down to my knees

I got one last chance to be

What I always saw in my dreams

But there was no chemotherapy

There's no turning back from all the things I've done

Yeah I know

And now the day has come when I won't see the sun

But you don't know

But you won't know

When I go

So please, just stay with me as I die

Now I'm really running out of time

Chemotherapy

Please don't run out when you cry

I already know it won't be fine

It was all meant to be.

"Just Listen"

been kinda down lately and can't find anyone to talk to... all my sisters are separated now so I have nothing to look up to. This song kinda explains it I wasn't sure if I should call it "Just Listen" or "Keeping company with ghosts" totally from VC's "Annie" well here goes.

"Just Listen"

Raise your glass
I'll make a toast
To those who live
And those who don't...

Limited to live in one world
A fantasy ruled by fear
Catching falling stars and pricking rainbows
Only got me fake smiles and genuine tears

Thought it wouldn't be that hard
To be as cold as ice, calculating every move
So I just swallowed all the hate from the world
And into the fire I lied, I lied

Trying to live up to the moment, but I'd always break
And dying angels call for help
Why were you the only one who could see?

All forevers have expired and the promises made were forgotten
Walking alone, along moaning trees
Crying oceans and rivers
Keeping company with ghosts
Not thinking, just feeling the wind
Listening to the secrets mermaids have been keeping from us

I'm holding on to all secrets
And into the fire I'll lie, I'll lie
I've done it before, can't destroy me anymore
Listen carefully for the tears they cry

I touch the sky, feel its softness
Burn myself with acid rivers
Save yourself from the thunderstorms
The moon brings with moans and tears

Trying to live up to the moment, but I still break
The dying angel is crying in pain, for help
Why are you the only one who can see?

All forevers have expired and the promises made were forgotten
Walking alone, along the moaning trees
Crying oceans and rivers
Keeping company with ghosts
Not thinking, just feeling the wind
Listening to the secrets mermaids have been keeping from us

Now I'm back to that place
The darkness I never wanted to go back to
And as always I'm alone
And there's no one to talk--

I made myself live in one world
A fantasy created by revenge
Picking up the fallen stars and healing broken rainbows
It was all because of me

Tired of living from the pains the dying angel brings
It's been my fault and I'm ready to fight for it
And I'll be silent, as the mermaids sing
The last verse of hell on earth

So raise your glass
I'll make a toast
To those who live
And those who don't, like me...

Hey people

Hey happy late All Hallow's Day(Halloween) every one. Hope you all had a great day and got lots of candy... Over here life's good not much to say other than my birthday's coming soon so have a good one.

ugh they suck!

I'm not gonna post anymore of the old songs cuz they suck! so see ya'll soon!

FOR THE ONE I CALL IMAGINE

I Can't Be Perfect

What's wrong with you then?
Everytime I call is a bad time.
Are there so many ghosts hunting you down?
Look at me, is my stare so acid?
Is my smile too cold now?
Well I'm sorry but I can't be perfect...
So you say you love me, that you really do
But just how much of it is true?
You break me so neatly
And then take my heart and destroy it
And then you say I don't love you, that I don't show you
Well I'm sorry baby, but I can't be perfect...
So now it's my last goodbye as I murder my soul
And you say that's wrong, so what?
Fucker! I told you I can't be perfect!

blast from the past

my other school is starting class tomorrow and I was thinkin bout it and all... I miss it! anyways I found this old notebook I've had since I was in the 9th grade with some really really old songs... I'm gonna post them all in different posts. ok here's the first

Camouflaged

I tried to get your attention
But no mater what I did you were never there
In the end I had to give up
And pretend to just be friends

But I don't want to go unnoticed
You mean so much to me
I wanna be here for you
This battle will be fought

Camouflaged within your eyes
I try not to be out of your sight
Cuz when you look at me it feels so right
And when I try to leave there's a lot to fight

Just let me be there for you,
And maybe give you my love
But don't give me up after
Just smile for me, don't open your shallow eyes
To give up your life

Please stop saying what pretty girls you want
Cuz it hurts me so much to know
I ain't half of what you're asking for
Please open your eyes and see me now flying high

And camouflaged within your eyes
I try not to be out of your sight
Cuz when you look at me it feels so right
And when I try to leave there's a lot to fight

Boy don't let me go like this...

Count the Stars

I've written this song for a former best friend who's having problems with her personal life... Girl think about the meaning, it ain't just another song...

Count the Stars

A life worrying about yesterday
Is a life with no tomorrow
Live this moment as your last
And learn to cry as you laugh

This pain is only temporary honey
And it's what keeps us going on
Do you think you'll remember every word he said (all those lies)
Or the way we fought together?

Oh, count the stars tonight
Cuz we don't know if tomorrow they'll be gone
So remember how they shined so bright
For your eyes, only for your eyes

Shed only one last tear
Think of the present, of now
The end isn't near, you have nothing to fear
Live your life without thinking how

And if tomorrow he's gone
You'll know you ain't been left alone
Forget about the past
Learn to smile --

So baby count the stars one last time
Tomorrow they'll be gone (they'll disappear)
And I'll only remember your smile
And the way your eyes used to shine (shine)

Don't worry 'bout yesterday
Just live in today
Live this moment as your last
And learn to cry as you laugh

The world ain't made of sugar and spice
The world ain't made of sugar and spice
But smile, smile

think about it...

i wrote this song for a very good friend of mine... i love him very much and don't want him to get hurt anymore... it's called "Real Life Fairytale" cuz really our life is like a 'fairytale' but it just sucks anyway, so here goes...

A Real Life Fairytale

Have you yet realized
There isn't much to smile at?
Life is a worthless journey through what seems to be Hell
And you are alone...

You love her, you love her when you cry
And she knows that
She just wants to be the reason for your tears
And the blood coming out of your heart...

You love her too much
But she'll never love you like you love her
She ripped your heart out
And you're crying all alone and nobody cares.

Liar!!
Cuz I care, and others would too
If only you opened your heart and cried
You gotta learn how to cry, without making a joke out of it...

You say she has stolen your heart
So? ask for it back fucker!
Fuck her! she's hurt you again and again
We'll all be here in the end

You love her too much
But she'll never love you like you love her
She ripped your heart out
And you're crying all alone and nobody cares.

Have you ever thought it would be nice to be fragile?
Then maybe someone would be gentle
But boy open your eyes and see
We've all been gentle, she's the blade...

Learn not to love her, it will be hard
She'll never know what she meant to you
Take back your heart and put it back in
Cry no more or know you have someone to cry with...
I love you...

What if?

I've stopped to think and wonder
What if it had happened like that?
But it's worthless I learned that
In this world full of shame

Mary, I ask you one thing
What if he hadn't died?
What if that guy hadn't killed him?
His bestfriend's father
You would've been at my house the next day
We would've been playing piano all day long
Nonstop, songs coming out of our hands
We would've shared that moment together
We would still be friends
Today...

Everyday I stop to wonder
What if it had happened like that?
But it's worthless I learned that
Cuz I've lost a lifetime in worries

Noul I regret one thing,
The thing that could've made us both happy.
What if I had said yes
To that question you asked and I took as a joke?
Now only God and you know the truth about that.
If I had said 'yes'
The girls would've never said those lies
Which to this day stand.

Everyday I stop to wonder
What if it hadn't happened like that?
But it's worthless I learned that
Cuz I've lost a lifetime in worries

I've stopped to think
I've stopped to think
But I only cry and everyone around me does too
I've already died... a broken heart in my hands...